What Do You See?

We go about our lives seeking fulfilment, our hearts longing to be seen, known, and understood. Some are trapped behind the image of another, others too caught up in the past to see the future, and rejection falls like an anvil on the hearts of many. There's a heartbeat to the world... pain and loss, misunderstanding, grief, fear, anger, pride, but also love, hope, passion, truth, acceptance.

I sometimes stop... and marvel at it's sound. The crescendo of the epic ballad that is our world, it's existence, our very essence! And then, I remember... No one cares. Their life is focused on themselves...even their love is a ploy to give themselves points, to make themselves feel as though they have done something good. I don't sit still very often in public...it makes me sad. To hear the broken songs, to watch hearts break, love die, and hope fade.

I've been told I'm childish, and immature... They couldn't see how I view the world, how the smallest things can be just as important as the ones that block the sun. The world has ripped away my joy of the building blocks...the daily things...the everyday moments that pass unnoticed. The feel of textures...the variance in sounds...the subtleties of facial expressions... the sheer volume of body language...the way a hug can resonate within the soul, and a slap can shatter it.

Loneliness... it is misunderstood. Someone says they're lonely and we jump them. "don't forget, God is with you!", "You're never alone!." I've done it, but I realize something from my own loneliness. If someone expresses it, if it's in their voice, the way they act. GET OFF YOUR ASS AND GO BE WITH THEM! Yeah, it might cost you some sleep, you might be drained and tired, your life might get out of whack. But if you really care about someone... Don't show it by throwing words... Not when they're asking for time, companionship, understanding, simply knowing that they are wanted, just...being there.
Do you see them? The misfits...the invisible ones...the hurting... They aren't all hiding in crowds, or staying at home. They're throwing parties, being popular, loud and crazy, they're known around the world, they have everything they could want. They also have nothing, they stand in corners and slip through crowds, they avoid and hide. They each are DYING! Their lives are being drained away by the world...and we speak words, words we sometimes don't even believe ourselves, words we would never dare admit we haven't experienced for ourselves. Because misfits teach, and preach. The lead missions, and prayer. They lay on hands, and speak prophecy. They partake of the supper, and sing with arms raised high. Misfits and hurting people are all around... Real People teach them to exist, Real Love gives them Real Hope. Are you truly Willing to give of yourself...or just when it's convient for you or your pocket book.

Disgust rages inside me at the world...but more at myself... for this is me...I have been this... A convient Child of God, a rich-and-guilty Child, a Look-How-Holy-I-Am Child.

I'm not better...I'm just a Child, and I still have so much to learn.