My Box

I have a box.

It is one my Grandaddy gave me.

It used to be his.

It had a broken lid.

We glued it back together.

It's been full.

It's been empty.

Things have been added.

Things have been removed.

It holds wonderful memories.

And things I'd rather forget.

Joys I cherish.

And mistakes from which I learned.

Loss is in the box.

Gain is in there too.

Bittersweet days.

Beautiful nights.

Sometimes it gathers dust.

Sometimes I use it to remember.

It was my Grandaddy's box.

It held his memories.

Now it is My Box.

Can I catch my breath? (For Daniel Blanchard)

I was talking to my mom today about... LIFE! Or rather, life as we know it right now. A series of joy/sadness whiplash that has our heads spinning these past couple of years. We're both thinking, "Can I just get a minute to catch my breath?"

No, not because life is cruel, but because it's life. It doesn't stop for us to catch our breath, or to prepare for the next challenge. One breath prepares us for the next, as one challenge prepares us for the next. The rest, preciously rare, is not ignored, but cherished. The losses make the joys bitter but so much sweeter. The gains are celebrated with gusto. The precious rest is found in the moments in-between.

My family... close and far, known and unknown, has been rattled and shaken by the loss of a young life. The memories are joyous in the life loss, joy upon joy, story upon story, picture upon picture. Facebook has been flooded with the memories of those who remember a young man full of life, love, and happiness.

You can't see all of it in the picture, but my band says "BE BOLD Acts 4:29"

 "And now, Lord, look upon their threats and grant to your servants to continue to speak your word with all boldness," (ESV)

This is a part of a prayer... when they have been threatened if they were to teach in the name of Jesus. They don't ask for protection, just boldness. The next verse says

"while you stretch out your hand to heal, and signs and wonders are performed through the name of your holy servant Jesus.” Acts 4:30 (ESV)

They believe God will act, so they ask for what they cannot get themselves... boldness to speak in the face of ANYTHING.

I haven't been able to wear this band, for I did not want boldness, or a reminder of it. I'm wearing it now, and will continue to, because Daniel Blanchard did not touch lives by being cowardly, unloving, and distant. But by being bold, active, and intentional. This is my remembrance.

I remember a boy full of energy and excitement, it brings be great joy to hear the stories of how that boy grew into a man who only grew in those to touch so many lives.

You'll never be forgotten my friend, hold a space for us who still struggle on in this world.

Guardrails...

My home church is going through a series called Guardrails. In all honesty it's a tough series. A very practical and thought provoking venture.

I grew up with guardrails, boundaries in my life. Haha, I was sheltered... Sheltered. A word often used to degrade others, to tear at them and say "how childish you are for not being exposed to this as a child". That isn't what is intended, but its how a sheltered person feels. We don't feel protected or safe, we feel left out and excluded.

We are fools... I jumped the boundaries my parents, pastors, and teachers placed around me. I regret many things.

I look back at my protected days, when I was not fully exposed to the world and the full brunt of it's influence and I long for them, my soul longs for them. I did not understand the safety of my guarding at the time, I thought it was a measure of control something to keep me contained. Having stood in the gale of the world, I find myself exposed and torn by the wind of life.

I want to end this positively, with a telling of personal victory. New guardrails need to be placed in my life, and the placing of them is a process.

So, no personal victory, but I will share a corporate one!

I'm not alone. You, reading this, are not alone. The struggle you feel, the difficulty, is being felt by others. We, as a whole, are victorious in Christ.

If you are struggling with the wind of life tearing at you because of a lack of guardrails, DO NOT DISPAIR!

Somewhere, a brother is struggling alongside you. A sister is praying for you. A spiritual parent is interceding on your behalf.

You may read that and say, "Not me."

That IS A LIE!

There are people, facedown on the ground with their souls groaning and crying for the ache in your soul. Their prayers are wordless, but God hears them, God placed those prayers in their hearts... for you. They're weeping with you. Mourning with you. Rejoicing with you!

I used to live "alone"... convinced that I alone struggled, that I was the only stumbler, the only one weak. I was wrong.

I don't know your name, but I will pray for you.

God has not forsaken us.


In His Love,

Mike