I went for a walk tonight. My friend and I found a trail next to a shopping center and we walked, back and forth. Talking, praying. I did most of the talking, and he mostly prayed. It was a gorgeous night, the sky was dark blue, and the horizon was a line of gold fire, and spectacular colors were everywhere. The greens of the path, the dark shadows as the sun set, the fading light in the sky. As we walked, and the light faded, fireflies began to appear. Anyone who was ever a kid in North Carolina knows what fireflies mean. Summer is nearly here.
Now, this isn't about summer, or walking, or sunsets, or time with friends. It's about something I thought about as my friend was praying. I got this image of instead of walking, he and I were dancing down this path and fireflies rushed out the trees all around us... And suddenly... He was there. God was dancing with us, pure joy not corrupted or hidden by the scars and weights of this life. We were expressing ourselves, the cries of our hearts, and the image faded away. But it left hope behind, because one day there will be a new earth and I want to dance down sunset trails dancing with fireflies with my Lord.
Then there will be no shame, embarrassment, or fear.
Only Him, and Him alone.
A Journey for More than Existence
This is my Journey, please enjoy this as you read about my life and struggles. Be encouraged and find hope in Christ.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Love is Blind
Its a common enough saying, "love is blind." People use it when someone falls in love with a "socially unacceptable" person and those people get a free pass from being ostracized because "love is blind". Mothers love their children regardless of who or what they become, again because "love is blind."I think this is a ridiculous statement if you know what love is. Allow me to explain.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, butrejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
How can love be blind? In order to be patient you have to choose to not react in anger, to be kind you have to respond when someone isn't. To not envy, boast, or be arrogant one must see their own fallen human status. To not be rude, irritable, resentful, or insist on having your own way you have to view others above yourself. To not rejoice at something wrong you have to see it, be around it, and not react in approval. To rejoice in the truth, you must see the difference between truth and a lie. Love must bear, hope, and endure; you can't blindly hope, believe, or endure the things in this world.
How can love ever be blind?
Love sees everything and gives a hug. Love hears the hurtful words and responds with kindness. Love sits through the long hours of the night, spends hours in prayer, and allows the world to break on it like waves on rocks. Love forgives no matter the offense, love is NOT blind. You cannot express love without seeing people and situations as they are, and the greatest testimony that can ever be given is to show love when it is undeserving.
We were loved while we were far from God, He sought us when we were lost in darkness. We didn't find Him, He called us.
Have we shown love? Or anger, hate, bitterness...
Love... there's nothing that anyone can argue against it. No one can argue that anything above is not worthwhile to express.
Maybe it appears as though we are blind... but we're looking beyond the surface. Something is underneath, and it is more than the sum of the outward appearance. A value worth in innocently shed blood, sacrificially given to those undeserving. A gift of freedom and love, a gift meant to be shared, not hoarded for ourselves.
Let us show love! Let us LIVE in the attitude of love. Spreading throughout our families, and friends, so that no one can question who we are and who our Lord God is.
Onward we go...
Thursday, April 19, 2012
A God Who Whispers
“A voice had begun to sing. It was very far away and Digory found it hard to decide from what direction it was coming. Sometimes it seemed to come from all directions at once. Sometimes he almost thought it was coming out of the earth beneath them. Its lower notes were deep enough to be the voice of the earth herself. There were no words. It was hardly a tune. But it was beyond comparison, the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Magician's Nephew
This is knowing Christ, and experiencing our limited understanding of God. Something beyond our comprehension, that we know to be the most beautiful thing in existence. Hearing that song, in the crazy insane mess of noise that our lives are involved in, even in church it is nearly impossible. Noise! Noise... Talking, whispering, music, preaching, teaching, cars, bills, yelling, screaming, laughter, and in the midst of all that we're supposed to hear the voice of God.
Why does God whisper? If the noises of our lives are so loud, why doesn't He sound trumpets, speak through a thunderclap, or write on walls? Well, have you ever listened to someone who couldn't speak up? In order to hear them you must draw close, you have to have your head as close to them as possible to hear and understand. What must you do to be in that position? You have to stop what you're doing, remove distractions, and pay attention. God is longing for this, for us to do just that. That is why I believe He whispers, because it requires us to concentrate on Him, instead of everything else.
"Let there be Light." and it was so. I can say whatever I want, stand on my head, do a dance, scream until my voice is gone and my throat is raw, but light is not appear at my command. Who am I to contend with Him... I can't even form a complete sentence some days, and I try to live as though I'm too good or too bad for HIM. In pride one day, in shame the next.
May it be that I find the balance, between confidence in my course and accepting His restoration, and only by His grace.
Farther up and farther in!
― C.S. Lewis, The Magician's Nephew
This is knowing Christ, and experiencing our limited understanding of God. Something beyond our comprehension, that we know to be the most beautiful thing in existence. Hearing that song, in the crazy insane mess of noise that our lives are involved in, even in church it is nearly impossible. Noise! Noise... Talking, whispering, music, preaching, teaching, cars, bills, yelling, screaming, laughter, and in the midst of all that we're supposed to hear the voice of God.
Why does God whisper? If the noises of our lives are so loud, why doesn't He sound trumpets, speak through a thunderclap, or write on walls? Well, have you ever listened to someone who couldn't speak up? In order to hear them you must draw close, you have to have your head as close to them as possible to hear and understand. What must you do to be in that position? You have to stop what you're doing, remove distractions, and pay attention. God is longing for this, for us to do just that. That is why I believe He whispers, because it requires us to concentrate on Him, instead of everything else.
"Let there be Light." and it was so. I can say whatever I want, stand on my head, do a dance, scream until my voice is gone and my throat is raw, but light is not appear at my command. Who am I to contend with Him... I can't even form a complete sentence some days, and I try to live as though I'm too good or too bad for HIM. In pride one day, in shame the next.
May it be that I find the balance, between confidence in my course and accepting His restoration, and only by His grace.
Farther up and farther in!
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Small Wounds...
I work on cars, injury is apart of my job. Pushing through pain is part of my life, I don't know why, but at almost twenty two I spend most of my time in pain. My hands, back, wrists, ankles, neck, hips, and shoulders. I'm sensitive to light, and have regular headaches. They aren't major or debilitating, but they are frustrating. I'm not writing this to complain, because it leads into this.
I've had most of these since I was a teenager, and I would complain a lot. Adults, my dad, mostly men, would always tell me "you're too young to be hurting." or "don't complain to old people about pain." I think older people forget that kids, teenagers, and young adults hurt too. Any kid in sports, my self being one of those, can tell you about pain. Any kid that grew up on a farm, any young girl taking horse riding lessons, and any martial arts kid can tell you about pain. Now, this isn't an old person bash, I think kids need to understand something too. That the worst pains we've felt, can not compare to the pain of age. The physical and mental weight of years. This is a hard world, full of hard people who have endured.
I learned eventually to suck up, and keep going. I tucked all my pain away and keep going. But, like I said, it's more frustrating that debilitating.
Now, my dad understands pain. Burns over a good portion of his body from a brush fire, scars from his accident on a motorcycle, scarred and calloused hands from 15+ years of hard labor under hoods of all types of vehicles. Scarred and calloused hands from a lifetime of hard labor. I remember days... watching my dad get ready for work. hearing the painful grunt as he stood, watching him limp to the truck because his arthritics was hurting him, watching his hands curl up until he could work the stiffness out of them. And on his day off... he was out in the yard, or cleaning the endless bottomless storage room, and making trips to the dump.
As real life kicks me in the gut, hard long hours at work, painful cuts in bad places on the hands that I need to use to work, stiff joints that scream for relief... I think of this
By the sweat of your face
you shall eat bread,
till you return to the ground,
for out of it you were taken;
for you are dust,
and to dust you shall return.”
(Genesis 3:19 ESV)
Anything that makes you sweat, you will remember, and if you will remember then you can learn from it. I'm not going to go out of this life with a painless perfect body. Hopefully my years will be long, hard, and blessed. But if they are long, hard, and cursed as the ground is upon which I tread, still I will work, and hopefully I will work hard. Hard work yields respect, teaches humility, sets an example, and gets the job done. Laziness yields contempt, inflates pride, also sets an example, and gets nothing done.
God may have cursed the earth, but he blessed Adam with the ability to work. Adam would remember that first green plant, the birth of the first lamb, the cries of his sons... why? Because it was hard, and there were scars, easy things pass from memory, the hard remain forever.
Work hard my brothers, humble yourselves before God and man, set the example!
I've had most of these since I was a teenager, and I would complain a lot. Adults, my dad, mostly men, would always tell me "you're too young to be hurting." or "don't complain to old people about pain." I think older people forget that kids, teenagers, and young adults hurt too. Any kid in sports, my self being one of those, can tell you about pain. Any kid that grew up on a farm, any young girl taking horse riding lessons, and any martial arts kid can tell you about pain. Now, this isn't an old person bash, I think kids need to understand something too. That the worst pains we've felt, can not compare to the pain of age. The physical and mental weight of years. This is a hard world, full of hard people who have endured.
I learned eventually to suck up, and keep going. I tucked all my pain away and keep going. But, like I said, it's more frustrating that debilitating.
Now, my dad understands pain. Burns over a good portion of his body from a brush fire, scars from his accident on a motorcycle, scarred and calloused hands from 15+ years of hard labor under hoods of all types of vehicles. Scarred and calloused hands from a lifetime of hard labor. I remember days... watching my dad get ready for work. hearing the painful grunt as he stood, watching him limp to the truck because his arthritics was hurting him, watching his hands curl up until he could work the stiffness out of them. And on his day off... he was out in the yard, or cleaning the endless bottomless storage room, and making trips to the dump.
As real life kicks me in the gut, hard long hours at work, painful cuts in bad places on the hands that I need to use to work, stiff joints that scream for relief... I think of this
you shall eat bread,
till you return to the ground,
for out of it you were taken;
for you are dust,
and to dust you shall return.”
(Genesis 3:19 ESV)
Anything that makes you sweat, you will remember, and if you will remember then you can learn from it. I'm not going to go out of this life with a painless perfect body. Hopefully my years will be long, hard, and blessed. But if they are long, hard, and cursed as the ground is upon which I tread, still I will work, and hopefully I will work hard. Hard work yields respect, teaches humility, sets an example, and gets the job done. Laziness yields contempt, inflates pride, also sets an example, and gets nothing done.
God may have cursed the earth, but he blessed Adam with the ability to work. Adam would remember that first green plant, the birth of the first lamb, the cries of his sons... why? Because it was hard, and there were scars, easy things pass from memory, the hard remain forever.
Work hard my brothers, humble yourselves before God and man, set the example!
Sunday, March 18, 2012
A Word Whispered in Silence...
But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart.
(Luke 2:19 ESV)
Sometimes I have an issue with talking... words tumble and spill out of my face, rambling and lost. They lack direction and substance, words half considered, thoughts hardly complete. They are the mutterings of better men, the thoughts of those wiser than I.
But this... this is me.
These are not words mentioned in jest, or spread around to become vile and common. They shaped the world, brought proud men to their knees weeping. Caused death to fall upon the liar and the cheat. The ground swallowed nations at their utterance. They are the words that caused a man of royal dignity to dance with no shame among the common. The caused a mass murderer to evangelize the known world. A thief to beg forgiveness as he hung in agony from one in equal position.
I heard these words, and forever I will ponder them in my soul. I cannot explain them to you, they have too much substance to be formulated into a phrase, to express in vocal or written language. My brothers and sisters... you know of what I speak. This love, the forgiveness, the mercy and grace, the sacrifice, the LIFE! Words cannot explain and yet we must speak! Actions are hollow and vain but still we will act! A martyr's death with The Name on our lips would be but dust in the wind and still we would die! Something so Pure, so Holy, a secret knowledge shared among the brethren of the depth of our allegiance. Eternity is too short for us, once we are capable of speaking those words back to Him, to tell Him of our gratitude!
These words cannot be spoken in this life, but they can be seen, felt, sensed, understood! If we hold fast to this foundation of eternal stone, no attack of the enemy will succeed. He has already lost, he is not the king of hell, he is not the lord of death, and the looming scythe will not fall by his hand. We have nothing to fear from a liar, a cheat, a shadow whispering evil in the dark, a twisted darkness disguised as light.
God has cast him out of heaven, and a time is coming when he will be cast into the lake of fire to endure eternal torment. So will others... if we don't LIVE as those alive. We live among the dead and play-act at life, when we should live life by dying. People will never hear the secret words that resonate in their souls, they will never experience life whole and complete if we live the lives of the dead. God is all that is of importance in this life... His are the Secret Words, private, personal, but passionate and LOUD! I want to live so that I don't have to use words, so that I will be invisible and that the atheist will acknowledge that there is a God in Heaven, and that my Brothers and Sisters would fall with me on our faces with one goal and purpose.
To worship our God and to love Him with all of our strength, mind, and will.
You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
(Deuteronomy 6:5 ESV)
Friday, March 16, 2012
Transcendent Worship
I was at a service at my, now, old church and it was my last day. During the worship I decided to try something I had thought about, and so mentally I envisioned myself singing alone before Christ, not on a stage but at His feet standing on the crystal sea that was spread before His feet. It was beautiful and wonderful.
Later that same day I met up with the church plant team I had joined and we had a small worship service of our own, and I did the same mental exercise but this time I wasn't alone! The entire team was there, and I realized that God has placed me with a group of people who understand what it means for Christ to be our goal, and who understand what it means to transcend the physical in seeking Christ.
I look forward to the powerful impact God is going to create through these people, and it is an honor to be among each of them.
It is crazy to realize that I am a part of a close, personal family in Christ; I'm naturally skeptical because... well, I honestly never believed that it would happen. I never thought there'd be a group of people that I'd connect with the way I have with these people. I'm pretty stoked about what's happening, and I cannot wait to see what God has in store.
It has not been wonderful rose-petal-covered pathways; it's been rough, and painful. The enemy has his sights on us, and the temptation to try and "slide by" is great. But we cannot, we must be alive and alert. God has called us to something, and any halfhearted efforts will be destructive to the whole.
Not only should we worship transcendently, but we should live in it too. We are more than bodies gathering to make noise, we are children of a King and our lives are examples of Him.
Shame on me, for the days where I choose to live outside of His design. Shame on any who claim Jesus and show no compassion, no love, whose fruits are rotten and worthless. We should repent, turning our backs on who we were and accepting the life given to us. May love and compassion be our lives, may forgiveness and acceptance be our call, may we challenge as strongly as we comfort, and live differently from the world. Moderation and denial of self, not to punish ourselves but always to the freeing of our focus so that we may know more of Christ Jesus our Lord.
What a gift... Freedom from shame, guilt, and condemnation, we are justified in Christ. Washed symbolically in His blood thrown against the alter as a sin offering. The Old Testament is full of blood... so much blood, so much "innocent" blood, so that God's children could live holy lives. The burnt offerings were pleasing to God, not because He is a barbaric god, but because correctly done and with a longing heart His people were seeking Him. Even God Himself grew disgusted by the smell of burning flesh when it became an excuse to live however they pleased. He called to them, saying how He desired their obedience over their sacrifice.
I am guilty of this... begging forgiveness after choosing to sin. God is not pleased by this... OBEY! and you will have no need of guilt, no shame shall hold you, blameless will you live before the world and the Lord your God! This is what God longs for, holy unions between His heart and ours, not marred by selfish desire and the depravity of this life. We are called to suffer and struggle in this life, so that peace will come in the next. So that OTHERS might follow God, so that they too can experience this forgiveness. So that they too can live free that the witness and testimony of their lives would point others to Christ. THIS is a Transcendent Life! “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
(Matthew 22:37-40 ESV)

God be glorified!
transcendent |tranˈsendənt|adjectivebeyond or above the range of normal or merely physical human experience : the search for a transcendent level of knowledge.• surpassing the ordinary; exceptional : the conductor was described as a “transcendent genius.”• (of God) existing apart from and not subject to the limitations of the material universe. Often contrasted with immanent.
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Worship
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
"and sin no more..."
There is darkness that fills the earth
My heart was once filled with it, and it consumed my mind and soul
There was no freedom as it ate away at me
Hope was but a phantom of an idea, a concept one could not grasp
Tendrils choked life away from me, oblivious was I indeed
I knew not the value of what was being stole from me
Cheap it was, pointless and useless
I heard words then, words of light and hope
Concept became real, fantasy truth before my eyes
I surrendered all to this, to someone hardly known
I was promised life eternal, but there would be a price
A price not paid by me...
A man gave his life, a man outside of time
This man was the Son of God, sent with purpose
He came to heal the sick, and find the lost
He came to die that I might not
Young was I, and lost in thought
I missed the value, ignored the cost
Shamed the name that took my sin
And threw away the cross
Always faithful, never forsaking
He stood with open arms, just waiting
And every time I turned my back, he said with love I cannot understand
"Still I am here."
I still fall away, I have turned my back shamed again and again
And again he said "paid in full, return and sin no more."
I am weak, but he has promised strength from him alone
Father embrace your son, for home I do return.
John 8:11 She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more."
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