So, things have been going amazing lately. My friendships are, for the most part, balanced and calm. I've learned things about God and just been able to relax and not force a smile. And OMG! I'm preparing to ask the most amazing and wonderful girl in the world out today! I am excited and trying very hard to remain calm and you know, at least somewhat collected.
She's already said she won't say no, but I'm still worrying about what to say... I don't want to ask her like I already know, it won't be special if I did that.
Anyway, I've noticed things are, for me at least, going rather well, and... I've been settling myself, digging my roots deep and getting prepared to hang on for dear life. I don't know what's coming, but I get the feeling that something is about to come roaring in. I know this because God never promised us freedom from trouble, but security and strength within the struggle. I've been given a "break" and I need to make the best of it.
See, the reason most people freak out and get all worried when trouble comes is because they relaxed, everything's going great, I have no worries. By doing that they drop their guards, and the enemy, during this time of relaxation is digging his foot in and preparing to take that foothold and rib you open with it. I've had this happen to me over and over again. I'm not going to let it happen again if I can help it.
I wish I could say things are going as well for my friends, I wish I could just reach out and hand them some of my joy and happiness and share with them. Some I have been able to do that with, but not as many as I would like.
God is good and he'll take care of them as he has taken care of me, but not if they turn against him and run. He can't help them if they run, he won't force them to come to him.
I wonder what all God's got planned for the near future....
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Changes
I've done a lot of thinking lately and I've realized something by looking at a relationship I have with one of my oldest friends. We've known each other for nearly 8 years, and looking back... at our cores we haven't changed one bit. Yeah, we've grown up. we're taller, stronger, had different experiences. but we're still those same kids we were 8 years ago, well... I wouldn't really say we're the same kids, but our personalities haven't changed for sure.
This prompted me to look at other old relationships and see, have they not changed as well. and so far, with only one exception because that person only showed part of her personality, no one has really changed. I know, I know, we're supposed to grow and change, if you're thinking that you're misunderstanding me. I'm not talking about growing, or growing up. I'm talking about the things that makes us who we are, our likes, our dislikes, the way we walk, or talk, the little quirks that are all our own. Sometimes these things change, If you're a christian, as you grow in your faith you might stop certain habits or start new ones depending on how God leads you, but you shouldn't become a cookie cutter of your pastor and walk and talk like him. you should take your faith and add it to you, that does mean things will have to go, but not who you are. I've struggled with this concept, I want to surrender to God and let him mold me, but I still want to be me. Slowly, at the pace God knew I'd need, he has been changing me. The last few months have been brutal on my personality, all the growth I've gone through is so short a time. I went from being a kid in soul and personality to being a kid in soul and a grown up in personality, I don't want to stop being a kid. I want to still cherish the little things, the small things that have always given me joy. The moonlight splashing over a silent yard, the twinkle of the silent stars. These are the things I hold most dear, the softness of a kittens fur, contrast with the rough feel of concrete.
In all my growth, as much as I've changed, I'm still me. Still the same person, I'm me, growing up hasn't changed who I am, and I doubt it will. God isn't a dictator that expects everyone to act the exact same like robots, he does expect us all to have the same qualities, such as Love, Self Control, Joy. But not everyone has to talk the same, act the same, jump, walk, run, the same. To expect that of us would destroy who we are, would destroy our unique qualities that make us stronger. Differences are not a weakness, they are a strength. I'm different, I'm very different, I am constantly breaking down what people consider normal, for some it has been a welcome revelation... for others disturbing and even scary, depending on their views of people.
Often times... I ask why? Why am I who I am? why do people act differently around me? what's special about me? then I realized... it's not me... it never was and it never will be. It's the spirit of God within me, they react differently because of his spirit, because of his Power. My name means "who is like God?" I don't view it as a question, but as a challenge. Who dares to assume the level of God, Who dares to stand before the most powerful being of all and survive. I'm a fighter, I need a challenge, a reason to fight, to keep going. I'm not just a fighter, I'm also a defender, I will protect those I love and care about, if not in the visible world then in the spiritual. I fight on different levels, at different times, for different reasons.
I also consider myself a brother, I have adopted a lot of people, people I consider more than friends, people that I cherish and hold dear. If you've been adopted by me, and you'll know if you have, I've made this promise. I will fight for you, I will be there for you, if I can't then I will pray that God places someone else there to do it for you. My arms are always open for you, if you need a shoulder or just to be accepted. That is my promise to you, open arms and a loving heart.
I am human, I'm not perfect, I never made a claim to be. I will make mistakes, I will mess up. but one thing I will not do is give up, I will never stay down, I will never let the enemy hold me. My God is all powerful, and He is within me. What can stand against me? what temptation or evil can hold me? none. Darkness is powerless against the light of the Holy One, and the Holy One is within me.
To end this post, I'll say good night and God Bless you.
God loves you, regardless of your past, regardless of the present, regardless of the future, He LOVES you.
And to my adopted brothers and sisters I offer a warm embrace, and a welcoming smile.
My God brighten all your days with His Glory and Splendor.
In the holy love of Christ,
Vann
This prompted me to look at other old relationships and see, have they not changed as well. and so far, with only one exception because that person only showed part of her personality, no one has really changed. I know, I know, we're supposed to grow and change, if you're thinking that you're misunderstanding me. I'm not talking about growing, or growing up. I'm talking about the things that makes us who we are, our likes, our dislikes, the way we walk, or talk, the little quirks that are all our own. Sometimes these things change, If you're a christian, as you grow in your faith you might stop certain habits or start new ones depending on how God leads you, but you shouldn't become a cookie cutter of your pastor and walk and talk like him. you should take your faith and add it to you, that does mean things will have to go, but not who you are. I've struggled with this concept, I want to surrender to God and let him mold me, but I still want to be me. Slowly, at the pace God knew I'd need, he has been changing me. The last few months have been brutal on my personality, all the growth I've gone through is so short a time. I went from being a kid in soul and personality to being a kid in soul and a grown up in personality, I don't want to stop being a kid. I want to still cherish the little things, the small things that have always given me joy. The moonlight splashing over a silent yard, the twinkle of the silent stars. These are the things I hold most dear, the softness of a kittens fur, contrast with the rough feel of concrete.
In all my growth, as much as I've changed, I'm still me. Still the same person, I'm me, growing up hasn't changed who I am, and I doubt it will. God isn't a dictator that expects everyone to act the exact same like robots, he does expect us all to have the same qualities, such as Love, Self Control, Joy. But not everyone has to talk the same, act the same, jump, walk, run, the same. To expect that of us would destroy who we are, would destroy our unique qualities that make us stronger. Differences are not a weakness, they are a strength. I'm different, I'm very different, I am constantly breaking down what people consider normal, for some it has been a welcome revelation... for others disturbing and even scary, depending on their views of people.
Often times... I ask why? Why am I who I am? why do people act differently around me? what's special about me? then I realized... it's not me... it never was and it never will be. It's the spirit of God within me, they react differently because of his spirit, because of his Power. My name means "who is like God?" I don't view it as a question, but as a challenge. Who dares to assume the level of God, Who dares to stand before the most powerful being of all and survive. I'm a fighter, I need a challenge, a reason to fight, to keep going. I'm not just a fighter, I'm also a defender, I will protect those I love and care about, if not in the visible world then in the spiritual. I fight on different levels, at different times, for different reasons.
I also consider myself a brother, I have adopted a lot of people, people I consider more than friends, people that I cherish and hold dear. If you've been adopted by me, and you'll know if you have, I've made this promise. I will fight for you, I will be there for you, if I can't then I will pray that God places someone else there to do it for you. My arms are always open for you, if you need a shoulder or just to be accepted. That is my promise to you, open arms and a loving heart.
I am human, I'm not perfect, I never made a claim to be. I will make mistakes, I will mess up. but one thing I will not do is give up, I will never stay down, I will never let the enemy hold me. My God is all powerful, and He is within me. What can stand against me? what temptation or evil can hold me? none. Darkness is powerless against the light of the Holy One, and the Holy One is within me.
To end this post, I'll say good night and God Bless you.
God loves you, regardless of your past, regardless of the present, regardless of the future, He LOVES you.
And to my adopted brothers and sisters I offer a warm embrace, and a welcoming smile.
My God brighten all your days with His Glory and Splendor.
In the holy love of Christ,
Vann
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Weight
A cry to God
"How much can I hold before I break? How long can I stand? Will my spirit break? I see everything, but don't know what to say. I see everything, but don't know what to do. I fade in and out of their lives, touching here, touching there. A phantom, appearing when I needed then fading again. Why can I do what I do? why do I know what I know? Feel what I feel? you made me! you made my plan! I'm your creation!
When I'm tired, when I'm drained, you send one of your own. When I'm overflowing and have plenty to share, you send me too them. Where are you leading me? am I actually following you?
You are ALMIGHTY GOD, the LAMB THAT WAS SLAIN, the KING OF ALL KINGS. THE LORD.
Thank you Father, for being yourself."
Good night world.
"How much can I hold before I break? How long can I stand? Will my spirit break? I see everything, but don't know what to say. I see everything, but don't know what to do. I fade in and out of their lives, touching here, touching there. A phantom, appearing when I needed then fading again. Why can I do what I do? why do I know what I know? Feel what I feel? you made me! you made my plan! I'm your creation!
When I'm tired, when I'm drained, you send one of your own. When I'm overflowing and have plenty to share, you send me too them. Where are you leading me? am I actually following you?
You are ALMIGHTY GOD, the LAMB THAT WAS SLAIN, the KING OF ALL KINGS. THE LORD.
Thank you Father, for being yourself."
Good night world.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Battle
This is a Short Fiction story. For some it'll have more meaning than to others.
SwordMaster stretched mockingly in front of Van.
"what? your friends taking the day off today?" He rolled his powerful shoulders, swung his sword experimentally, and settled into a ready stance.
Van, so... familiar, but his eyes were different from the one he was copied from, they were red and his skin was paler. The talon like fingernails clicked together as he rubbed his hands together.
"Off... no... they're around." He stared deep into SwordMaster's eyes "you can't defeat us, you never have, you never will."
SwordMaster leapt forward with a roar, his golden blade flashing as he struck with lightning speed.
"you won't have HIM! I'll continue to fight for HIM! you can't defeat me, no matter how hard you knock HIM down I'll pull him up! He'll have to get rid of me in order for you to defeat me!" SwordMaster's bladework was incredible, his skills impossible, he was cut, bruised, and scarred, the wounds only making him stronger. each cut taught him something new, each bruise opened his eyes more, every scar reminded him of the past. Others joined him in his fight against Van, Other immortals, others from the outside. Lash, Jaa, Ye. The immortals faded, but he stood, SwordMaster stood alone most of the time. He'd never give up, he'd never fail his mandate.
Thrash and Undra, his other two greatest enemies joined Van and the four of them continued their never ending battle. it raged on and on, Sometimes others joined SwordMaster, most times he fought alone.
Then, one day, a warrior, of the likes of which that the SwordMaster had never seen came upon the scene. White hair, white armor, and a shining white sword. He calmly entered, picked SwordMaster up from where Undra had knocked him down, and stood him on his feet.
"Well done SwordMaster, now He's called me to fight for HIM. It's time for you to join HIM, and help him fight for the others."
Where some would have been angry, SwordMaster was over joyed, no longer would he daily fight the same monsters that were trying to destroy HIM, now he'd strengthen HIM, help him stand strong more openly. He watched as The white fighter calmly dispatched Van, Thrash, and Undra, then a deep crack appered in the ground and their boies were cast in it.
SwordMaster bowed to the White one, and calmly joined HIM.
Now the true fights would begin. The Glory of the Creater had appeared once again in it's fullness. The Power had returned to the dry vessel.
SwordMaster stretched mockingly in front of Van.
"what? your friends taking the day off today?" He rolled his powerful shoulders, swung his sword experimentally, and settled into a ready stance.
Van, so... familiar, but his eyes were different from the one he was copied from, they were red and his skin was paler. The talon like fingernails clicked together as he rubbed his hands together.
"Off... no... they're around." He stared deep into SwordMaster's eyes "you can't defeat us, you never have, you never will."
SwordMaster leapt forward with a roar, his golden blade flashing as he struck with lightning speed.
"you won't have HIM! I'll continue to fight for HIM! you can't defeat me, no matter how hard you knock HIM down I'll pull him up! He'll have to get rid of me in order for you to defeat me!" SwordMaster's bladework was incredible, his skills impossible, he was cut, bruised, and scarred, the wounds only making him stronger. each cut taught him something new, each bruise opened his eyes more, every scar reminded him of the past. Others joined him in his fight against Van, Other immortals, others from the outside. Lash, Jaa, Ye. The immortals faded, but he stood, SwordMaster stood alone most of the time. He'd never give up, he'd never fail his mandate.
Thrash and Undra, his other two greatest enemies joined Van and the four of them continued their never ending battle. it raged on and on, Sometimes others joined SwordMaster, most times he fought alone.
Then, one day, a warrior, of the likes of which that the SwordMaster had never seen came upon the scene. White hair, white armor, and a shining white sword. He calmly entered, picked SwordMaster up from where Undra had knocked him down, and stood him on his feet.
"Well done SwordMaster, now He's called me to fight for HIM. It's time for you to join HIM, and help him fight for the others."
Where some would have been angry, SwordMaster was over joyed, no longer would he daily fight the same monsters that were trying to destroy HIM, now he'd strengthen HIM, help him stand strong more openly. He watched as The white fighter calmly dispatched Van, Thrash, and Undra, then a deep crack appered in the ground and their boies were cast in it.
SwordMaster bowed to the White one, and calmly joined HIM.
Now the true fights would begin. The Glory of the Creater had appeared once again in it's fullness. The Power had returned to the dry vessel.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
First Post sooo... about me!
I'm going to be very short in this because... I don't like writing about myself. It unnerves me... telling a screen about myself. Blehhhh...
Anyway. I'm Mike, just to throw that out there. Vann Zratha is my writers name because... I like Vann and my friend Holly came up with the name Zratha for a story idea and I didn't get to use it as a character so I picked it up as my "name" my alternate me, as it were, the writer me.
Anyway, I'm a homeschooler, have been my entire life.
I used to be a swimmer, before I permanently injured myself in Tae Kwon Do (not a cool story, very very boring).
I write, I run slides for the youth band at my church, I'm a generally help guy. I listen to people, text, talk, hang out, eat, go to movies, like a certain girl. I'm just a regular guy.
All this though... it's not really what defines who I am, not really. yeah, I've got busted shoulders so I can only lift something so heavy, and I can't work out mt arms for fear of more damage. I love listening to people, talking to people, hanging out. but none of that truly defines who I am.
Who I am is defined in a choice I made 4 years ago in Phoenix, AZ. I chose to allow the Spirit of God to come in and cleanse me of my sin, I accepted Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. So, right off the bat, I'm a Christian. Don't like Christians, don't read my blog, I won't be offended.
I'm done for tonight.
God Bless all.
Anyway. I'm Mike, just to throw that out there. Vann Zratha is my writers name because... I like Vann and my friend Holly came up with the name Zratha for a story idea and I didn't get to use it as a character so I picked it up as my "name" my alternate me, as it were, the writer me.
Anyway, I'm a homeschooler, have been my entire life.
I used to be a swimmer, before I permanently injured myself in Tae Kwon Do (not a cool story, very very boring).
I write, I run slides for the youth band at my church, I'm a generally help guy. I listen to people, text, talk, hang out, eat, go to movies, like a certain girl. I'm just a regular guy.
All this though... it's not really what defines who I am, not really. yeah, I've got busted shoulders so I can only lift something so heavy, and I can't work out mt arms for fear of more damage. I love listening to people, talking to people, hanging out. but none of that truly defines who I am.
Who I am is defined in a choice I made 4 years ago in Phoenix, AZ. I chose to allow the Spirit of God to come in and cleanse me of my sin, I accepted Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. So, right off the bat, I'm a Christian. Don't like Christians, don't read my blog, I won't be offended.
I'm done for tonight.
God Bless all.
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