What to do...

So, I'm actually going to try and stay on topic this post, doubt I can handle it but I shall try.
So, I've realized that the, the wonderful simple world I grew up in is so much more freaking complicated than I thought. Sigh...

I might have to be looking for a job soon, and just so you all know I've never looked for a job, mine got handed to me on a silver platter and I've never had to actually look for one so... the idea of working somewhere else scares me to death. The thought of stepping out of my nice sheltered job into the world scares me.

But... is the world all that scary? gulp... yeah, it is. For me.
I've had to grow up really fast in a short period of time, and... I'm still testing my new legs here and I'm thrown a need to grow more, not a desire a freaking need. I'm unstable, thrown off balance. I'm reaching, grasping for the stable things in my life, only to find that they too have shifted!
But, as my world begins to crumble, as I fall reaching, hoping to grab anything, a realization strikes me. I'm not actually falling, I just think I'm falling.

For some of you reading this your brains probably just did a double take, wait, he's falling, but he's not? wha????? O.o

Well, My foundation is on a Solid Rock, I'm an adopted child of God, he won't let me fall. I can't fall, if he's holding me, if I'm running to him, if I'm asking for his guidance. Now, I've had to learn quickly not to run to people, I'm in such a habit of doing it that it took coming into a relationship with my current girlfriend to realize it. I don't want to go and dump all my issues on her, to vent and complain. I love and care about her, I should share what's going on, not just dump it on her and sit there fuming while she is quick to encourage me and remind me of God. I realized I was starting to do this, and while she can take it, while she can handle my venting, she shouldn't have too. This issue is between me and God; she's amazing, she's there for me, a strength in my life, but she's a human, not God. God wants me to run to him, I can ask for someone to pray for me, explain in detail what's going on, but I shouldn't vent at them.
Often, I'm afraid to vent at God, afraid to go to him with my issues cause I'm worried he'll take offense to my petty issues, which are small, but for some reason bug the crap out of me.

well, I've strayed off topic, oh well, I'll just come back to it.

I'm trying to decide what to do, do I take a possible chance to work at a camp this summer? do I start looking for another job? do I settle down and wait and see if my current one works out? What to do...

I'm going to read my bible and pray. Now, wait a second, why would I do that? shouldn't I go talk to some type of adviser or read some type of book on finding a job? Maybe a book on hearing God's will?
For me, that would be pointless. I have direct contact to the one that invented the idea of idea's, that put the thought of work into the very being of man, the one that stands outside of time and has already seen where I'll be in the future. So... why not ask him? Do I really need a self help book? no. I could read it, say "that was a nice read, great ideas" but I'd still be where I was, and I would have less time to figure it out. So, I'm going to Him, my personal choice, I'm not going to say it's right, it's just what I feel I need to do, so I'm going to do it.