When reality strikes

Sometimes the reality of our choices and actions don't hit us until later in life. For some it can be years later, or five minutes. It comes crashing back and when it comes any feelings and emotions you haven't dealt with yet.
I was speaking with a friend recently and she asked a question, in that moment my old holier-then-thou-well-learned-heavy-handed-christian side took over. Not two seconds later, the reality of my past and the sin I have yet to deal with roared up like a beast. God stopped me in my tracks, forcing me to face my own depravity.
My reaction was like this picture of the cat, I tried to make myself bigger, I hissed and spat at my own image. I was disgusted by what I was about to say, while it was truth it was not from a heart of love. It was not in an attempt to uplift, protect, or guide. It was a chance to make myself sound better then I was. The back peddling out of the conversation was painful and embarrassing.
I'm disgusted with my sin and my past, but Christ has covered it by his blood. I was forgiven once and for all. Someone told me once, "We do fight for victory, but from it." In other words, We have won! We already crossed the finish line, the battle is over, and we didn't do anything, but choose to accept it. Christ came into my life and changed my heart and placed His Spirit within me when I was six years old, He came in, He changed me, and He placed His Spirit. I didn't do any of it, all I did was accept His offer. This is the reality of my life, and I fail every day, and every day I have to come back to Christ.
So, here I am, disgusting and broken, being accepted and cleaned by Christ.
This is me.