Changes

I've done a lot of thinking lately and I've realized something by looking at a relationship I have with one of my oldest friends. We've known each other for nearly 8 years, and looking back... at our cores we haven't changed one bit. Yeah, we've grown up. we're taller, stronger, had different experiences. but we're still those same kids we were 8 years ago, well... I wouldn't really say we're the same kids, but our personalities haven't changed for sure.
This prompted me to look at other old relationships and see, have they not changed as well. and so far, with only one exception because that person only showed part of her personality, no one has really changed. I know, I know, we're supposed to grow and change, if you're thinking that you're misunderstanding me. I'm not talking about growing, or growing up. I'm talking about the things that makes us who we are, our likes, our dislikes, the way we walk, or talk, the little quirks that are all our own. Sometimes these things change, If you're a christian, as you grow in your faith you might stop certain habits or start new ones depending on how God leads you, but you shouldn't become a cookie cutter of your pastor and walk and talk like him. you should take your faith and add it to you, that does mean things will have to go, but not who you are. I've struggled with this concept, I want to surrender to God and let him mold me, but I still want to be me. Slowly, at the pace God knew I'd need, he has been changing me. The last few months have been brutal on my personality, all the growth I've gone through is so short a time. I went from being a kid in soul and personality to being a kid in soul and a grown up in personality, I don't want to stop being a kid. I want to still cherish the little things, the small things that have always given me joy. The moonlight splashing over a silent yard, the twinkle of the silent stars. These are the things I hold most dear, the softness of a kittens fur, contrast with the rough feel of concrete.
In all my growth, as much as I've changed, I'm still me. Still the same person, I'm me, growing up hasn't changed who I am, and I doubt it will. God isn't a dictator that expects everyone to act the exact same like robots, he does expect us all to have the same qualities, such as Love, Self Control, Joy. But not everyone has to talk the same, act the same, jump, walk, run, the same. To expect that of us would destroy who we are, would destroy our unique qualities that make us stronger. Differences are not a weakness, they are a strength. I'm different, I'm very different, I am constantly breaking down what people consider normal, for some it has been a welcome revelation... for others disturbing and even scary, depending on their views of people.

Often times... I ask why? Why am I who I am? why do people act differently around me? what's special about me? then I realized... it's not me... it never was and it never will be. It's the spirit of God within me, they react differently because of his spirit, because of his Power. My name means "who is like God?" I don't view it as a question, but as a challenge. Who dares to assume the level of God, Who dares to stand before the most powerful being of all and survive. I'm a fighter, I need a challenge, a reason to fight, to keep going. I'm not just a fighter, I'm also a defender, I will protect those I love and care about, if not in the visible world then in the spiritual. I fight on different levels, at different times, for different reasons.

I also consider myself a brother, I have adopted a lot of people, people I consider more than friends, people that I cherish and hold dear. If you've been adopted by me, and you'll know if you have, I've made this promise. I will fight for you, I will be there for you, if I can't then I will pray that God places someone else there to do it for you. My arms are always open for you, if you need a shoulder or just to be accepted. That is my promise to you, open arms and a loving heart.

I am human, I'm not perfect, I never made a claim to be. I will make mistakes, I will mess up. but one thing I will not do is give up, I will never stay down, I will never let the enemy hold me. My God is all powerful, and He is within me. What can stand against me? what temptation or evil can hold me? none. Darkness is powerless against the light of the Holy One, and the Holy One is within me.

To end this post, I'll say good night and God Bless you.
God loves you, regardless of your past, regardless of the present, regardless of the future, He LOVES you.
And to my adopted brothers and sisters I offer a warm embrace, and a welcoming smile.
My God brighten all your days with His Glory and Splendor.
In the holy love of Christ,
Vann