Steak Stirfry

Food:
Small Beef Steak
Broccoli
Sliced Carrots
Pineapple
Garlic Powder
Basil
Olive Oil
Red Wine
Salt and Pepper
Bacon Bits

Materials:
Stove
Mid Sized Sauce Pan
Pan (for Marinating)
Spoon (for Stirring)
Fork (for Tasting)
Knife (for Cutting)
Cutting Board (Or Paper Plate)

Start by cutting steak into squares.
Mix olive oil and red wine in pan, enough to cover bottom of it, then add enough water for it to be about a quarter to a half inch full.
A dash of salt, pepper, garlic powder, and basil.
Place meat in the pan and stir, then spread evenly and let sit for 15-30 minutes.
While that is marinating, slice the broccoli in halves and cut up the pineapple into chunks
 Once the meat is finished sitting, pour it and the marinating sauce into the sauce pan with the stove on high heat for about a minute.
set a little lower then med heat, and stir off and on for 5 minutes.
Add broccoli and pineapple, and sprinkle bacon bits.
Alternate between med and low heat, stirring and occasionally lifting the pan to disperse the heat.
For a more stir fry type meal, 40-50 minutes is required for the meat veggies and fruit to properly absorb the sauce.
For a more stew/soup type meal, 25-30 at higher temps will leave a nice thin, but tasty, broth.
Portion sizes are instinctual, as well as servings.

When a Community Prays

This is a bit premature, but I'm really excited!
My church is preparing to launch on the 19th of August, and about a week ago we were called as a body to fast and pray until the launch. The time has been exhilarating and incredibly encouraging.
See, I struggle with belonging, especially understanding that I truly do belong. The people in this church, and the changes God has made in my heart over the last year have only made it easier and more enjoyable.
But even in all this light, I struggled with that shadow of belonging. I remember hearing others talking about similar struggles and having a moment that really hit it home that they were home. I was excited for them, and saddened for myself. I knew I was accepted, I knew I was enjoyed, but belonging was a distant thing.
Now, no one messed up, no one made me feel rejected, ignored, or forgotten. Belonging is not for man to grant, but a gift from God alone. We don't belong in Christ until we reach the bottom of our sin and realize the depravity of our existence and our desperate need for salvation, crying out to Him we beg to be released and rescued from this living death.
It's the same in social settings, church attendance, and the mission fields. Among friends and family you can know you belong, but experiencing it requires the effort of sacrifice and love and God blesses it with a bonding of community that cannot be broken. Church attendance is good, consistent is better, but it is worthless on its' own. You will not experience the freedom of the worship, the excitement of praise, the deep exhilarating rush that is the terrifying beautiful presence of God.
                                           *                 *                  *
I have to switch gears and talk about this for a moment, the presence of God. I had an experience recently that was mind blowing. I was praying, a short simple prayer, when I felt torn to the ground. Falling on my face I was overcome by the reality of my pitiful existence, and I understood the terror that is Jehovah, and my existence as a sinful being was a unpardonable offense against Him. I cried out, "I am undone." It was as I would imagine getting pounced and mauled by a tiger would be like, the terror of the destruction but marveling at the beauty of the creature in its pure existence.
In the understanding of pure justice, I also saw the beauty of the mercy that was the death and resurrection of Christ. Fully Just, and Fully Love, Jehovah took pity on His creation and instead of destruction for all he offered a choice. Destruction by self, or Death of self. To allow our own sinful selves to destroy us, or to surrender our selves to His grace. Truly as it is said in Joel 2:13 "Come back to the Lord your God, because he is kind and shows mercy. He doesn't become angry quickly, and he has great love."
                                          *                *                   *
Back to my previous focus,
You will not experience those things without the surrendering daily to Christ, and allowing Him to work in you and through you. As for missions, if you work hard and speak well and serve faithfully, you will see some fruit of your labor. But, if you work as one who loves, and speak as one with compassion, and serve as one who knows what it means to be last, your harvest will overflow as Christ works through your faith in Him and returns to you what was sacrificed by giving you joy and contentment as His fields are picked for God's glory. This cannot happen unless God grants you that belonging to the land, and the people that you are reaching out towards.

I have my belonging now, I can feel it grow as my family sacrifices things loved, enjoyed, and desired. As their knees hit the ground and their souls scream out to heaven crying "Father! Be our hands, so as we work it will not be in vain. Walk before us, so our coming will be of joy to those who seek you. Wrap your shield around us, so that the enemy will be reminded of his defeat. Send your terror out before us, that those who oppose us will tremble at your Name. Purify us, so we will be without fault. Soften us, so we will show compassion. Guide our tongues, so we can speak truthfully and with wisdom. Mark us with your Seal, so we may speak and serve with the Authority of Christ. Fill our hearts with peace, so that we can live in peace. And so that our words will have meaning, our actions lasting, and our prayers power, teach us love that surpasses understanding and is without condition or desire of reward. Our Reward is you, Father. Bless you, and thank you. Amen."

Why We Do These Things.

"I'm a creature of habit."
How many times have any of us said that? My manager mentioned today that "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." Another often used statement.
One is a justification of a repeated action, the other is an excuse to avoid change.

Obviously my blog is not habitual for me, it is more... Monumental. I write when I feel like I have something worth writing about, and it itches in my head until the words spill out. Once they start I can't stop, doesn't matter what time it is or what I should be doing. If I stop writing... it's lost. Often forever.

I was watching a movie about a man who has no short term memory, and in order to function he has to create a pattern, a law, by which he lives his life. My life is rather chaotic, work, hangouts, people, and friends all have shifted and changed throughout my life. Some things remain consistent though, my favorite food, my favorite soda, and going to church on Sunday. The guy in the movie had his patterns, my patterns shift, but that remains constant. I go to Church, family vacations aside, I was there every Sunday.
At one point in my life, I chose not to go. I chose to break my foundation in that pattern, and I fell very far. God dragged me back, I was shriveled and broken. Lifeless. I had no value, no worth in this world. I had broken everything I said I'd never do. I had no good works...no personal value. God took my hand, though I wasn't aware of it at the time. He brought me back to my habit of church, it wasn't a safe place by any means, but it was a good place.
I began to heal, one step at a time. I never gave God the honor He deserved then, but He placed people in my life. Brought friendships back from the void, and still I was blind. I thought it was just me, going back to what had worked. No, Christ was standing beside me, though I ignored Him. We do that... We say what we did, how God worked for us, how we asked, how we prayed.
It's sickening...We've done nothing to deserve anything but the fire of hell, whether we know it or not. Jesus died and rose again, all I did was beg for forgiveness. God parted the Red Sea, Moses held a staff. God heals so many injuries and sicknesses, we only ask and believe He will.
What do I do? I wear a cross, in a design that fits me. It has sharp edges, so that I remember the pain He endured for me. I wear a ring, as a promise that I will not return from where I came from. It too has sharp edges. I don't wear them for anyone but me, they're my reminders.
More then that, I'm learning to live, with excellence, love, joy, peace, righteousness, and from the standpoint of salvation. Victory has already been won, I must now live in it.

We have our habits, our patterns, our reminders.
God wants them... He wants to change them.
I'm far from healed, but I've healed a great deal.
Will you learn new things? Will you heal?

Journey's End

Well, discipleship class is over. Nine months flew by, 32 weeks of classes finished. I'm writing this with the joy of one who completed a goal, the sadness of the absence of that community, and the expectation of the future. I, like Scott, enjoy symbolism and I chose the picture for this post purposefully. In the picture, the start and finish are the same line. As this class finished we crossed that line in celebration, remembering the blood, sweat, and many tears that went into that race. We weren't finished though, walking out the door we turned around and hit the starting line. Ready to go again on the next step.
Last night was beautiful, as Scott and his team continued to pour into us with teaching, food, and gifts for those with perfect attendance. We, the class, returned in kind with our words, our gestures, and our gifts. I'm so proud of our group, because we didn't just give them a gift card, or a letter. Some ingenious people in our group thought of giving them ourselves, by way of a book. Pictures of each of us, sharing memories of the class, and the verses of the bible dear to us. It was... our masterpiece. Something for Scott to look at and remember even more vividly the struggle, the tears, the love, and the victory. A monument, that his team's hard work and sacrifice was not in vain.
Through our memories, and our verses, we were telling him, "We got it. We understand. We know. We will press on." We learned so much, and there were times where we all wanted to quit, some of us did, but there is sweetness in the victory of accomplishing such a long commitment.
I watched people struggle through death, addiction, injury, anger, hate, loss, and depression. I remember the voice crying out, "I am ANGRY!" and the same voice telling us later in the year truths of God, as they healed. People battled with their jobs, and families. Everyone had something or someone trying to pull them away. No one was not attacked. "We fight not for victory, but from victory." That became the battle cry for many. "FEAR. False Evidence Appearing Real." Changed our views on how to understand, see, and combat lies told to us, by us, the world, others, and the enemy. So many more statements, but the biggest one and the one I'll end on.
"Remember to see Jesus in everything you do."

Thank you,
Scott, Julie, and Janice
For your Faith, Dedication, Sacrifice, and Passion
This blog could not have been written without your obedience to Christ.
God bless and be glorified in everything you say and do, from now until His return.

Dancing with Fireflies

I went for a walk tonight. My friend and I found a trail next to a shopping center and we walked, back and forth. Talking, praying. I did most of the talking, and he mostly prayed. It was a gorgeous night, the sky was dark blue, and the horizon was a line of gold fire, and spectacular colors were everywhere. The greens of the path, the dark shadows as the sun set, the fading light in the sky. As we walked, and the light faded, fireflies began to appear. Anyone who was ever a kid in North Carolina knows what fireflies mean. Summer is nearly here.
Now, this isn't about summer, or walking, or sunsets, or time with friends. It's about something I thought about as my friend was praying. I got this image of instead of walking, he and I were dancing down this path and fireflies rushed out the trees all around us... And suddenly... He was there. God was dancing with us, pure joy not corrupted or hidden by the scars and weights of this life. We were expressing ourselves, the cries of our hearts, and the image faded away. But it left hope behind, because one day there will be a new earth and I want to dance down sunset trails dancing with fireflies with my Lord.
Then there will be no shame, embarrassment, or fear.
Only Him, and Him alone.

Love is Blind

Its a common enough saying, "love is blind." People use it when someone falls in love with a "socially unacceptable" person and those people get a free pass from being ostracized because "love is blind". Mothers love their children regardless of who or what they become, again because "love is blind."

I think this is a ridiculous statement if you know what love is. Allow me to explain.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV

⁴  Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant ⁵ or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ⁶ it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, butrejoices with the truth. ⁷  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
⁸ Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.


How can love be blind? In order to be patient you have to choose to not react in anger, to be kind you have to respond when someone isn't. To not envy, boast, or be arrogant one must see their own fallen human status. To not be rude, irritable, resentful, or insist on having your own way you have to view others above yourself. To not rejoice at something wrong you have to see it, be around it, and not react in approval. To rejoice in the truth, you must see the difference between truth and a lie. Love must bear, hope, and endure; you can't blindly hope, believe, or endure the things in this world.
How can love ever be blind?


Love sees everything and gives a hug. Love hears the hurtful words and responds with kindness. Love sits through the long hours of the night, spends hours in prayer, and allows the world to break on it like waves on rocks. Love forgives no matter the offense, love is NOT blind. You cannot express love without seeing people and situations as they are, and the greatest testimony that can ever be given is to show love when it is undeserving.


We were loved while we were far from God, He sought us when we were lost in darkness. We didn't find Him, He called us.
Have we shown love? Or anger, hate, bitterness...
Love... there's nothing that anyone can argue against it. No one can argue that anything above is not worthwhile to express.
Maybe it appears as though we are blind... but we're looking beyond the surface. Something is underneath, and it is more than the sum of the outward appearance. A value worth in innocently shed blood, sacrificially given to those undeserving. A gift of freedom and love, a gift meant to be shared, not hoarded for ourselves.
Let us show love! Let us LIVE in the attitude of love. Spreading throughout our families, and friends, so that no one can question who we are and who our Lord God is.
Onward we go...

A God Who Whispers

“A voice had begun to sing. It was very far away and Digory found it hard to decide from what direction it was coming. Sometimes it seemed to come from all directions at once. Sometimes he almost thought it was coming out of the earth beneath them. Its lower notes were deep enough to be the voice of the earth herself. There were no words. It was hardly a tune. But it was beyond comparison, the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.” 
― C.S. Lewis, The Magician's Nephew


This is knowing Christ, and experiencing our limited understanding of God. Something beyond our comprehension, that we know to be the most beautiful thing in existence. Hearing that song, in the crazy insane mess of noise that our lives are involved in, even in church it is nearly impossible. Noise! Noise... Talking, whispering, music, preaching, teaching, cars, bills, yelling, screaming, laughter, and in the midst of all that we're supposed to hear the voice of God. 
Why does God whisper? If the noises of our lives are so loud, why doesn't He sound trumpets, speak through a thunderclap, or write on walls? Well, have you ever listened to someone who couldn't speak up? In order to hear them you must draw close, you have to have your head as close to them as possible to hear and understand. What must you do to be in that position? You have to stop what you're doing, remove distractions, and pay attention. God is longing for this, for us to do just that. That is why I believe He whispers, because it requires us to concentrate on Him, instead of everything else.


"Let there be Light." and it was so. I can say whatever I want, stand on my head, do a dance, scream until my voice is gone and my throat is raw, but light is not appear at my command. Who am I to contend with Him... I can't even form a complete sentence some days, and I try to live as though I'm too good or too bad for HIM. In pride one day, in shame the next.
May it be that I find the balance, between confidence in my course and accepting His restoration, and only by His grace.


Farther up and farther in!