Small Wounds...

I work on cars, injury is apart of my job. Pushing through pain is part of my life, I don't know why, but at almost twenty two I spend most of my time in pain. My hands, back, wrists, ankles, neck, hips, and shoulders. I'm sensitive to light, and have regular headaches. They aren't major or debilitating, but they are frustrating. I'm not writing this to complain, because it leads into this.
I've had most of these since I was a teenager, and I would complain a lot. Adults, my dad, mostly men, would always tell me "you're too young to be hurting." or "don't complain to old people about pain." I think older people forget that kids, teenagers, and young adults hurt too. Any kid in sports, my self being one of those, can tell you about pain. Any kid that grew up on a farm, any young girl taking horse riding lessons, and any martial arts kid can tell you about pain. Now, this isn't an old person bash, I think kids need to understand something too. That the worst pains we've felt, can not compare to the pain of age. The physical and mental weight of years. This is a hard world, full of hard people who have endured.
I learned eventually to suck up, and keep going. I tucked all my pain away and keep going. But, like I said, it's more frustrating that debilitating.
Now, my dad understands pain. Burns over a good portion of his body from a brush fire, scars from his accident on a motorcycle, scarred and calloused hands from 15+ years of hard labor under hoods of all types of vehicles. Scarred and calloused hands from a lifetime of hard labor. I remember days... watching my dad get ready for work. hearing the painful grunt as he stood, watching him limp to the truck because his arthritics was hurting him, watching his hands curl up until he could work the stiffness out of them. And on his day off... he was out in the yard, or cleaning the endless bottomless storage room, and making trips to the dump.
As real life kicks me in the gut, hard long hours at work, painful cuts in bad places on the hands that I need to use to work, stiff joints that scream for relief... I think of this


By the sweat of your face
you shall eat bread,
till you return to the ground,
for out of it you were taken;
for you are dust,
and to dust you shall return.”
(Genesis 3:19 ESV)


Anything that makes you sweat, you will remember, and if you will remember then you can learn from it. I'm not going to go out of this life with a painless perfect body. Hopefully my years will be long, hard, and blessed. But if they are long, hard, and cursed as the ground is upon which I tread, still I will work, and hopefully I will work hard. Hard work yields respect, teaches humility, sets an example, and gets the job done. Laziness yields contempt, inflates pride, also sets an example, and gets nothing done.
God may have cursed the earth, but he blessed Adam with the ability to work. Adam would remember that first green plant, the birth of the first lamb, the cries of his sons... why? Because it was hard, and there were scars, easy things pass from memory, the hard remain forever.
Work hard my brothers, humble yourselves before God and man, set the example!

A Word Whispered in Silence...

But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. 

(Luke 2:19 ESV)

Sometimes I have an issue with talking... words tumble and spill out of my face, rambling and lost. They lack direction and substance, words half considered, thoughts hardly complete. They are the mutterings of better men, the thoughts of those wiser than I.

But this... this is me.

Words have been whispered in my ear, the kind that would have shattered the foundations of worlds. Secret words that I could not repeat to you, the kind that would cause me to lose my mind simply trying to describe to you the depth, the color, the scent, the feeling. THOSE words, frozen in our minds, they exist forever. They bring tears to our eyes, cause our hearts to skip, and our stomachs churn. They bring joy, and also sorrow.

These are not words mentioned in jest, or spread around to become vile and common. They shaped the world, brought proud men to their knees weeping. Caused death to fall upon the liar and the cheat. The ground swallowed nations at their utterance.  They are the words that caused a man of royal dignity to dance with no shame among the common. The caused a mass murderer to evangelize the known world. A thief to beg forgiveness as he hung in agony from one in equal position.

I heard these words, and forever I will ponder them in my soul. I cannot explain them to you, they have too much substance to be formulated into a phrase, to express in vocal or written language. My brothers and sisters... you know of what I speak. This love, the forgiveness, the mercy and grace, the sacrifice, the LIFE! Words cannot explain and yet we must speak! Actions are hollow and vain but still we will act! A martyr's death with The Name on our lips would be but dust in the wind and still we would die! Something so Pure, so Holy, a secret knowledge shared among the brethren of the depth of our allegiance. Eternity is too short for us, once we are capable of speaking those words back to Him, to tell Him of our gratitude!

These words cannot be spoken in this life, but they can be seen, felt, sensed, understood! If we hold fast to this foundation of eternal stone, no attack of the enemy will succeed. He has already lost, he is not the king of hell, he is not the lord of death, and the looming scythe will not fall by his hand. We have nothing to fear from a liar, a cheat, a shadow whispering evil in the dark, a twisted darkness disguised as light.

God has cast him out of heaven, and a time is coming when he will be cast into the lake of fire to endure eternal torment. So will others... if we don't LIVE as those alive. We live among the dead and play-act at life, when we should live life by dying. People will never hear the secret words that resonate in their souls, they will never experience life whole and complete if we live the lives of the dead. God is all that is of importance in this life... His are the Secret Words, private, personal, but passionate and LOUD! I want to live so that I don't have to use words, so that I will be invisible and that the atheist will acknowledge that there is a God in Heaven, and that my Brothers and Sisters would fall with me on our faces with one goal and purpose. 

To worship our God and to love Him with all of our strength, mind, and will.

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.

(Deuteronomy 6:5 ESV)

Transcendent Worship

The reason I chose "transcendent" is because I feel like all worship should be transcendent, and an experience I had recently was what brought the idea to my mind.
I was at a service at my, now, old church and it was my last day. During the worship I decided to try something I had thought about, and so mentally I envisioned myself singing alone before Christ, not on a stage but at His feet standing on the crystal sea that was spread before His feet. It was beautiful and wonderful.
Later that same day I met up with the church plant team I had joined and we had a small worship service of our own, and I did the same mental exercise but this time I wasn't alone! The entire team was there, and I realized that God has placed me with a group of people who understand what it means for Christ to be our goal, and who understand what it means to transcend the physical in seeking Christ.
I look forward to the powerful impact God is going to create through these people, and it is an honor to be among each of them.
It is crazy to realize that I am a part of a close, personal family in Christ; I'm naturally skeptical because... well, I honestly never believed that it would happen. I never thought there'd be a group of people that I'd connect with the way I have with these people. I'm pretty stoked about what's happening, and I cannot wait to see what God has in store.
It has not been wonderful rose-petal-covered pathways; it's been rough, and painful. The enemy has his sights on us, and the temptation to try and "slide by" is great. But we cannot, we must be alive and alert. God has called us to something, and any halfhearted efforts will be destructive to the whole.
Not only should we worship transcendently, but we should live in it too. We are more than bodies gathering to make noise, we are children of a King and our lives are examples of Him.
Shame on me, for the days where I choose to live outside of His design. Shame on any who claim Jesus and show no compassion, no love, whose fruits are rotten and worthless. We should repent, turning our backs on who we were and accepting the life given to us. May love and compassion be our lives, may forgiveness and acceptance be our call, may we challenge as strongly as we comfort, and live differently from the world. Moderation and denial of self, not to punish ourselves but always to the freeing of our focus so that we may know more of Christ Jesus our Lord.
What a gift... Freedom from shame, guilt, and condemnation, we are justified in Christ. Washed symbolically in His blood thrown against the alter as a sin offering. The Old Testament is full of blood... so much blood, so much "innocent" blood, so that God's children could live holy lives. The burnt offerings were pleasing to God, not because He is a barbaric god, but because correctly done and with a longing heart His people were seeking Him. Even God Himself grew disgusted by the smell of burning flesh when it became an excuse to live however they pleased. He called to them, saying how He desired their obedience over their sacrifice.
I am guilty of this... begging forgiveness after choosing to sin. God is not pleased by this... OBEY! and you will have no need of guilt, no shame shall hold you, blameless will you live before the world and the Lord your God! This is what God longs for, holy unions between His heart and ours, not marred by selfish desire and the depravity of this life. We are called to suffer and struggle in this life, so that peace will come in the next. So that OTHERS might follow God, so that they too can experience this forgiveness. So that they too can live free that the witness and testimony of their lives would point others to Christ.  THIS is a Transcendent Life! “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
(Matthew 22:37-40 ESV)





















God be glorified!

transcendent |tranˈsendənt|adjectivebeyond or above the range of normal or merely physical human experience : the search for a transcendent level of knowledge.• surpassing the ordinary; exceptional : the conductor was described as a “transcendent genius.”• (of God) existing apart from and not subject to the limitations of the material universe. Often contrasted with immanent.

"and sin no more..."

There is darkness that fills the earth
My heart was once filled with it, and it consumed my mind and soul
There was no freedom as it ate away at me
Hope was but a phantom of an idea, a concept one could not grasp

Tendrils choked life away from me, oblivious was I indeed
I knew not the value of what was being stole from me
Cheap it was, pointless and useless
I heard words then, words of light and hope

Concept became real, fantasy truth before my eyes
I surrendered all to this, to someone hardly known
I was promised life eternal, but there would be a price
A price not paid by me...

A man gave his life, a man outside of time
This man was the Son of God, sent with purpose
He came to heal the sick, and find the lost
He came to die that I might not

Young was I, and lost in thought
I missed the value, ignored the cost
Shamed the name that took my sin
And threw away the cross

Always faithful, never forsaking
He stood with open arms, just waiting
And every time I turned my back, he said with love I cannot understand
"Still I am here."

I still fall away, I have turned my back shamed again and again
And again he said "paid in full, return and sin no more."
I am weak, but he has promised strength from him alone
Father embrace your son, for home I do return.

John 8:11 She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more."

Restoration in the Midst of God's Work

Ephesians 2:14-18 
    For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.


Can I just say... God is awesome! God has been revealing so much about my heart and the life I've been living and how it compares to the life I should live. But these have not been the truly big deals going on in my life as of late. I have joined a church plant in the Brier Creek area and God has put me with some incredible people. But speaking of people...
One of the people on the team is a friend of mine, and this friend and I have had a really rocky few years. We've had spats, some of them petty, some quite serious. Well, I heard he was thinking of coming on the plant, and my heart jumped into my throat. The enemy took this moment to pound thoughts against me, thinking of how terrible it would be, and how much of a struggle it would end up being trying to stay civil, and just on and on the thoughts went.
Well, God stepped in and revealed himself strongly on my heart. And the incredible thing was how my heart just stepped in line with his, and we agreed that this plant is about God, and about spreading his kingdom in our city, and any squabbles between his children either need to be shelved or dealt with. So I just said to God, "This is bigger than me, or him, and if our passion is truly for you, then this would sort itself." Another friend even told me when I mentioned my fears, that God would deal with it and I wouldn't have to do anything.
Her statement was so true, God worked everything out perfectly. My friend and I ended up getting coffee, and just hanging out. We talked about the plant, and how excited about it we were. As we talked we shared our stories and found out they were so similar that only God could be involved. We had both been worried about each other being on the plant, and God changed both our hearts, and our surrender rewarded the restoration of a friendship in a way that no mental or physical work of our own could have ever brought about so complete a turn around of personality in our friendship.
This is such a perfect picture of how God can move when his people are sold out for him, there is a harmony of soul and spirit that leaves us breathless and laughing for joy. It causes us to run to him, and just leaping with joy like a child, saying "Look! Look! These incredible things are what you did!" We run around telling others, "God is awesome! Look at what he did!" It's also a perfect picture of how God takes to very imperfect people, and gives them the same passion and tools to do something. They become more than themselves, a part of a movement that makes everything pale in comparison to the work God has placed before them.
Now, there will still be struggles, I have no doubt me and this friend will be at odds again sometime in the future, but our God is bigger than those odds. If we stay true to God, then our hearts will be willing to compromise, and to further God's kingdom at whatever cost it might be to our pride and desires.
I just want to praise God for all he has been doing lately, I'm getting blown away more and more each time something incredible has happened.

Avoided and Forgotten

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

John 3:17

This verse is overlooked, and I think that it is often forgotten as it is over shadowed by its big brother that comes right before it. As Christians I think we should live this, and as humans we avoid it because it means we have to act, and deny ourselves the pleasure of condemning others. We derive pleasure from standing over others, and asserting ourselves as superior. We should be servants.

Wait... Servants? We're children of the king, we should be treated royally. We should not be serving others. Wrong! Jesus, the kings of kings, washed the feet of his followers. Feet that are dirty from the dust of the road, filthy in a way that we today rarely comprehend. God himself was washing the lowly feet of fishermen and tax collectors. We won't even smile at a homeless man. We turn our backs on the fatherless child, and far be it that we help the mother out. She's a whore and slut, she deserves to struggle and we would dirty our hands should we help them. We don't want to associate ourselves with the sinners... And we condemn them by our actions. And by condemning them we condemn ourselves. Our actions say, we are more important than others, and those others think that God values those people more. God's heart is broken by the sin that we commit in these actions. How can we claim to follow Christ? We can't even care for the least of these. Humbled I am, and ashamed. I have not lived this... Far from it. The anger and disgust expressed here is at my past self, and who I used to be, and who I no longer wish to be. We need to rise up, brothers and sisters, and live this out more than ever in these days.

Then he will answer them, saying, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.' And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."

Matthew 25:45-46

Overused and Misunderstood

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

The most used verse in all the Bible, it carries a weight, and a depth of meaning that has become diluted and devalued. We're talking about a death...and our diluted senses practically shrug. Death is all around us in movies, books,and TV shows. It's flashy and dramatic, or quick and seemingly painless. Life has lost value to us as a western culture.
Christ suffered a cruel death... Agony to the limit that any human body can endure... The worst form of torture. And then, worse than death, God turned His back on His Son and denied Himself community with Himself. Allowing the sin of all humanity to come crashing down on Jesus. Every lie, every theft, every affair, murder, rape, moment of envy, angry shout, bruising hit, bow before an idol, every moment a human being chooses not to live for God, came crashing down on Jesus. And the agony of the physical suffering that day became nothing in comparison to His soul freely accepting the punishment intended for us. But this would be meaningless if God had kept His back turned, but He did not. Jesus rose again under His own power. He was reunited with His father and they were once again whole and complete in in each other.
Because of His death and resurrection, we can believe and trust that He was indeed the Son of God. We also can understand that our sins are washed away. I think, though, if we truly understood the agony of Christ's suffering on our behalf...if we lived every day by saying Jesus suffered and died for me today, we would live differently.