Musings of an infrequent insomniac

I feel like there's a line...

A line where once you've been awake past it, you really just ought to stay up all night. Especially when you have to be up really early. Foolish of me, knowing I have to be up early but staying up ridiculously late anyway. Maybe I just enjoy torturing myself, or I can't break the habit I gained as a teenager working nights, whatever the reason it is still foolishness.

That line is foolishness as well...

There's no reason that there should ever be a point at which you should just stay up. In fact, there are very few times there should be a point of no return. Continued sin after salvation is one of those, there's no line that says "well, you've come this far, you might as well keep going." Actually, the opposite is true. Romans 6 is very clear on this, and yet... I am guilty.

For clarity sake...

People screw up, we're human and we make mistakes. Romans 6 is not talking about making a mistake, or being caught off guard by emotions. It's about choices, when you know what you're doing in sinful and wrong and decide to choose it anyway. The grace of God is infinite, nothing can increase it and nothing can decrease it, it simply IS.

But on that topic of guilt...

I am guilty of choosing to sin, in full knowledge and control of my actions. Grace covers even me in these transgressions, but grace can not protect me from the consequences in this temporary venture on earth. I am also guilty of asking forgiveness, not for the sake of purity... but out of fear of the possible that might occur because of my wrong choices.

"Be sure your sin will find you out..."

Curse or promise? it is both. They offered to swear an oath to Moses and to God, and Moses made certain they understood the gravity of what they chose. This is why Jesus said "For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?" Luke 4:28 (ESV) The surrender to Christ comes at great cost, when you choose to give your life over to Him you lose the rights to it. It's not yours anymore to whore away on any fancy you find yourself chasing. Going against the terms, does not cancel the contract, but it does have those consequences.

Peaching to myself...

I am not perfect. These words have only just begun to sink beneath my skin, to dig into my soul, and they are painful. I have so far to go, and have wandered in many deserts of my own making. Thankfully where I am going there is peace and healing. There is light. There is Christ.