Brotherly Advice...

I have two incredible siblings. They're both very smart, mature and wise beyond their years, and fully capable of facing the world. I've never been concerned for them in safety or stupidity of action because of these facts. I certainly never thought I'd be giving them advice on life...
I was wrong, but I've been right! Weird statement, but it's true.

I've actually had things to share when they have questions or concerns, I've had experiences so I can warn them, made mistakes so I can show them better ways. I never thought about the things that they didn't see, the things they didn't know. I figured they learned enough from what they did see in my many varied mistakes in life. (All made by me despite warning labels!) ((Also, if you have younger siblings: THEY ARE WATCHING YOU!))

I was blessed with siblings that looked at my choices and actions and said "Well, that was stupid, I know what NOT to do now." Rather then the ones who tried to reenact what I did. They had a wide sample size, but as life is moving forward, as they grow and enter into situations and experiences of their own... I find myself not only having things to share, but knowing how to share them. How to point to their strengths and weaknesses and saying "Here, use this, avoid that, you can do this." I've also had the joys to watch and be apart of other peoples lives and I've seen good and ugly, and I've been able to incorporate not only those, but the successes of each of them to each other.

As a big brother who grew up just a little to close in age, we were always growing together, what one was experiencing the others were too. That changed when I moved out, and I missed it, the growth and experiences in my life dwarf theirs to some degree and I didn't realize it until I started being around them again more.

And I don't think they realized it either, or in my brother's words. "So, when did you become all wise and stuff?" I didn't really have an answer to that, because I was over here stewing in my stupidity. Wondering what could I ever share with anyone that would be helpful?

I get the opportunity to not only share advice, but to get instant feedback (which has been very positive...) on it. I get the opportunity to be there, and when they bring things up I don't need them to fully explain, or in the words of my sister. "I can tell by your face... ok! so..." which means I'm not giving blind advice into an unknown void hoping something works!

This made me think, God didn't just shoot ideas into the dark and say "I hope someone listens...". He gave guidelines and warnings, ways of living, and a future goal to look forward to. 

Galations 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

This is what we strive for... or should be. Who's against a person who shows love? or dislikes a joyful person? A person who is peaceful in everything? What about someone who is always patient? Always kind? Just a good person? Someone who never betrays you? Always gentle? Fully in control of themselves?

No one, no one I've met, and if someone did its only because they don't see those same qualities in themselves, and that's not on me. If someone has an issue with me being loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled... then I'm going to show them more love, I'll be kinder, gentler, more patient.

I want to share these qualities with my siblings, their future families, my friends and loved ones, the random people I meet throughout the day. I want this because in doing so I get to be more like Christ, and the more like Christ I am the closer I am to the things His heart loves. You do the things that the love of your heart loves, and Christ loved my heart long before I loved His.

So, I want my advice to my siblings to always point towards love, so that they guard their hearts, save their affections, and live peacefully with everyone. And have fun while doing so. :)

The Yo-Yo or the Hand?

Sometimes you just have to write. Tonight is one of those times.

Today was one of those "I've been really productive but I don't have anything to show for it." days. This plus other human struggles of spiritual failure had me in a funk. A funk that would not release, and technically hasn't lifted yet. God has this way of pointing things out to you though, especially in these low moments.

I picked up a dusty journal and flipped to the bookmark. Date 1/15/13, so... a while ago.

In that entry I discuss my struggles with controlling my tongue, the need to love from my spirit and not out of obligation. I also wrote down a prayer,
"Dear God, I have a heart of obligation, not love. Please change that inside me and the root of what has caused it."

I don't pray that way anymore... I don't even think that way anymore...

I'm in survival mode. Bills and Food. Work and Church. Which is why today... getting ahead on laundry and doing dishes just because felt weird, and started this profound chain reaction of frustration and self loathing that kept building until I opened that journal. Now in that entry I also mention having to buy a Yo-yo, the one in the picture. I had to buy this toy because God put a picture of it in my mind, but I didn't understand why. A good friend told me to buy a yo-yo, and wait for God to tell me. I mulled over it, forgot about it, found it again, mulled again. I had many theories but nothing was solid.

After reading that entry I looked up... at the yo-yo. Sitting right in front of my face, and I had my answer.

I am an 11 o'clock hour guy, I thrive in the stress of only having moments to get things done and am decent at making them acceptable. I am so much this way that it is infused into chores, bills, hygiene, friendships, my life.

What does that have to do with a yo-yo? A yo-yo can not return to the hand without momentum, it has to be spinning, otherwise it becomes immobile. The person must then roll it back up by hand and start again. I had lost momentum, become still. I was the yo-yo, God the hand. I would jump around on that string at the 11 o'clock hour, but would become limp again. So long as it has momentum a yo-yo can be easily drawn back to the hand, the longer it's still, the more tangled the string becomes, the harder it is to get it going again.

I wasn't allowing God to untangle me, wrap me back up, and get me rolling again. I just wanted to be still. God wants to show off his skills, to show the world what He can do with me, to dazzle and bring joy in the wonder of all He is, and I keep tangling the string.

I like being real, I like being open. So, if you're struggling with momentum, let God untangle you, roll you back up, and give you push. You'll keep returning to Him when you've reached the limits of your abilities, just like a yo-yo returns to the hand at the limit of it's string. I'm going through it also, so you're not alone.

Silent Step

Some things are celebrated loudly, and others are silent.

The child's first steps are to freedom from crawling, and celebrated loudly with encouragement and support from the beginning.

An addicts first steps to freedom are often silent and alone, with no encouragement or support in the beginning. Shammed by their own actions, the opinion of the public, and the rejection of friends and family, they plod silently. Some fall back, and their silent or public struggle is unknown because nothing seems to change. The ones that truly want freedom do not always achieve it, the pressure is to great, they can't do it alone, they're ashamed to admit especially if they've slipped.

If you have friends or loved ones who struggle with any sort of addiction and want to be free, shield them with encouragement, cover them with prayer, hunt them down when they go silent. Silence is shame, silence is hiding, silence does not mean everything is good or going well, and sometimes they are not strong enough to stand. Years of shame don't go away in a day, and they do not want to disappoint the ones they love with their failures, silence is dangerous... because they've either given up, or decided to fight on their own.

Just toughing up, or just pushing through doesn't work for all. It's long and painful, and they will fail. And if they feel deep shame, if they do not have people they trust to understand, even if they do trust and have those that understand, they will hide ever deeper away. And the silence will continue, and smiles will remain fake, laughter hollow, and joy gone. Do not take their hiding personally, they love you and trust you, but they're scared and hurting and need love.

I'm thinking of those today taking silent steps, press on, and pray for the hearts around you, try not to remain silent, but pray for others eyes to see if you must.

You're never alone, no matter how dark it gets.

Others struggle, and God is there... even when that seems impossible.

So, press on brothers and sisters, don't lose heart.

My Box

I have a box.

It is one my Grandaddy gave me.

It used to be his.

It had a broken lid.

We glued it back together.

It's been full.

It's been empty.

Things have been added.

Things have been removed.

It holds wonderful memories.

And things I'd rather forget.

Joys I cherish.

And mistakes from which I learned.

Loss is in the box.

Gain is in there too.

Bittersweet days.

Beautiful nights.

Sometimes it gathers dust.

Sometimes I use it to remember.

It was my Grandaddy's box.

It held his memories.

Now it is My Box.

Can I catch my breath? (For Daniel Blanchard)

I was talking to my mom today about... LIFE! Or rather, life as we know it right now. A series of joy/sadness whiplash that has our heads spinning these past couple of years. We're both thinking, "Can I just get a minute to catch my breath?"

No, not because life is cruel, but because it's life. It doesn't stop for us to catch our breath, or to prepare for the next challenge. One breath prepares us for the next, as one challenge prepares us for the next. The rest, preciously rare, is not ignored, but cherished. The losses make the joys bitter but so much sweeter. The gains are celebrated with gusto. The precious rest is found in the moments in-between.

My family... close and far, known and unknown, has been rattled and shaken by the loss of a young life. The memories are joyous in the life loss, joy upon joy, story upon story, picture upon picture. Facebook has been flooded with the memories of those who remember a young man full of life, love, and happiness.

You can't see all of it in the picture, but my band says "BE BOLD Acts 4:29"

 "And now, Lord, look upon their threats and grant to your servants to continue to speak your word with all boldness," (ESV)

This is a part of a prayer... when they have been threatened if they were to teach in the name of Jesus. They don't ask for protection, just boldness. The next verse says

"while you stretch out your hand to heal, and signs and wonders are performed through the name of your holy servant Jesus.” Acts 4:30 (ESV)

They believe God will act, so they ask for what they cannot get themselves... boldness to speak in the face of ANYTHING.

I haven't been able to wear this band, for I did not want boldness, or a reminder of it. I'm wearing it now, and will continue to, because Daniel Blanchard did not touch lives by being cowardly, unloving, and distant. But by being bold, active, and intentional. This is my remembrance.

I remember a boy full of energy and excitement, it brings be great joy to hear the stories of how that boy grew into a man who only grew in those to touch so many lives.

You'll never be forgotten my friend, hold a space for us who still struggle on in this world.

Guardrails...

My home church is going through a series called Guardrails. In all honesty it's a tough series. A very practical and thought provoking venture.

I grew up with guardrails, boundaries in my life. Haha, I was sheltered... Sheltered. A word often used to degrade others, to tear at them and say "how childish you are for not being exposed to this as a child". That isn't what is intended, but its how a sheltered person feels. We don't feel protected or safe, we feel left out and excluded.

We are fools... I jumped the boundaries my parents, pastors, and teachers placed around me. I regret many things.

I look back at my protected days, when I was not fully exposed to the world and the full brunt of it's influence and I long for them, my soul longs for them. I did not understand the safety of my guarding at the time, I thought it was a measure of control something to keep me contained. Having stood in the gale of the world, I find myself exposed and torn by the wind of life.

I want to end this positively, with a telling of personal victory. New guardrails need to be placed in my life, and the placing of them is a process.

So, no personal victory, but I will share a corporate one!

I'm not alone. You, reading this, are not alone. The struggle you feel, the difficulty, is being felt by others. We, as a whole, are victorious in Christ.

If you are struggling with the wind of life tearing at you because of a lack of guardrails, DO NOT DISPAIR!

Somewhere, a brother is struggling alongside you. A sister is praying for you. A spiritual parent is interceding on your behalf.

You may read that and say, "Not me."

That IS A LIE!

There are people, facedown on the ground with their souls groaning and crying for the ache in your soul. Their prayers are wordless, but God hears them, God placed those prayers in their hearts... for you. They're weeping with you. Mourning with you. Rejoicing with you!

I used to live "alone"... convinced that I alone struggled, that I was the only stumbler, the only one weak. I was wrong.

I don't know your name, but I will pray for you.

God has not forsaken us.


In His Love,

Mike

Escaping Fear/Finding Joy

I think every time I come back to the world of blogging it's been a terribly long time. It's true... my reading stats are almost zero... sad. Good thing I don't write for the fan base!

I recently received a verbal hide-tanning from a loving friend. He was passionate about a subject, and I dodged around the topic for a long time. He wasn't even trying to tan my hide, he was just expressing the passion in his heart. I went home that night and I asked God why I ran away from the topics, why I ran away from Him, why I was so afraid. I didn't get an answer... I already knew it.

A while ago I met with my pastor for coffee between jobs, (I'm an exterminator now if you didn't already know), and during the ensuing conversations I casually asked if he was worried about something. "Worried is a strong word." I went cold, but outwardly agreed. Why did I go cold? "Love is a strong word." "Hate is a strong word." My pastor put worried on the same level as hate and love.

Worried, we often casually throw it around as though it was nothing, a cheap word. "I'm worried about..."

Worried "anxious or troubled about actual or potential problems."*

Origin

Old English wyrgan ‘strangle.’ In Middle English the original sense of the verb gave rise to the meaning ‘seize by the throat and tear,’ later figuratively ‘harass,’ whence ‘cause anxiety to’ (early 19th century, the date also of the noun).*

We've really tamed this word, but does it not still strangle us? Keep us penned up. Worry does not motivate, it traps, snares, strangles. 

And when we worry we are afraid, and fear enters our lives.

And now you're going "yes, you're clever, we see what you did there, bringing us full circle to your topic, but what is the point?"

Fear "avoid or put off doing something because one is afraid" (Verb)*

"Again... Point?"

Ok, I have been afraid.

Of God, of people, of opinions, views, thoughts, actions, consequences, etc.

This fear allowed me to play church and Christ Follower, even be a decent leader. It did not allow power in my life, it did not allow me to lead with true authority nestled deep within the will of God, it did not allow power to flow out of Christ through me.

"Isn't God all powerful? Can't He change your heart? Are you even a Follower? He doesn't need you. Is He even real? Am I wasting my life?" Lies in my own mind tearing at my belief and the more I feed them, the more I worry, the more worry grows the more I feel strangled, the more strangled I feel the more afraid I become, the more lies I feed to myself. A circle.

So, when God didn't answer the question I already knew the answer to, I told Him the truth.

"I'm afraid."

I surrendered my fear, I thanked Him for His rescue, and I continued with joy in my heart. My struggles didn't change, but I was no longer afraid.

"That easy?"

No, this has been a long road. Years and years of fear, constant lying and running, playing Christian and church, gaining friends and losing them when I became afraid of hurting them. So no, it wasn't that easy. I had to reach a point where I was willing to surrender my fear, to give ownership of it to Christ, and accept His offer of joy. I got the better deal, and I'm very thankful.

These verses at the bottom are what continued to go around in my head, they were once burdens that I felt like a failure when I read them, now I feel joy reading them. Because there's a promise of peace that will guard my heart.

2 Timothy 1:7

English Standard Version (ESV)

7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.**

Philippians 4:6-7

English Standard Version (ESV)

6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.**



*Found by searching Google

**Copied from biblegateway.com