Something Precious

Precious. Jewels, silver, and cute children come into our minds when the word precious is used.

1: of great value or high price 

2: highly esteemed or cherished

Two stories that Jesus told used to never made sense to me.
Matthew 13:44-46
"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it."
It's obvious that these men viewed the treasure and the pearls as precious, valued, and desirable. The part about selling all they have and going and buying it is where I get caught up. The idea of something, anything, so of value, so of worth, so precious, used to just throw my head in circles. This year, that changed, I bottomed out. Not in a drunken stupor, or overdosing. I didn't end up in rehab or AA. My heart and my soul gave up, emotionally I died. As my brother Kevin likes to say, "You were on life support with a synthetic heart." Which was true, my heart felt nothing but anger and hurt, but it knew all the motions and acted real.

The deepest betrayal I had ever experienced happened, but by this time a constant pattern of emotional abuse, both by others and myself, had turned me apathetic. I was dead inside, just a robot. God started working then, calling out to my heart. Passionately urging me to just keep on, He didn't beg, He encouraged. I didn't go running back, I didn't leap sold out into His arms. I took baby steps, tested the waters. I didn't go back, I just kept going forward. It was a slow process, a building of a relationship. I belonged to Him already, I just was getting to know who he was again. I didn't love God at this time, I was just interested.

I got involved with church again, going to service, serving, and I joined a small group. But in that moment God pushed my heart in one direction, and I ran. I was still healing, still growing, but the disobedience hung in my head. I was ashamed, and it hindered my walk. So, I obeyed, I joined the group He put on my heart. and the changes that had been happening slowly blossomed into life! I was filled with joy again, I saw hope.

I've realized the preciousness of Christ, I've seen why I want to give up everything for Him. It will take time, but He'd rather I be slow and real then fast and fake. Also, I've found someone precious. Someone who has come along side me, and just lived life with me. I've been made whole in Christ, I am without need. I have been given blessings in people, and specifically one person. She has smoothed rough edges, and rekindled things long buried. An excellent friend. God has used her, and I praise Him for it.

  

Precious things... God, remind me daily and increase my thankfulness to you for all your blessings. So many things I take for granted.