I was listening to myself as I was having a conversation the other day, and I realized I sounded like I had been thinking on this subject that I was sharing for a long time. Only, I hadn't at all, the thoughts never crossed my mind while I was reading the book I was talking about, or in the weeks leading up to the conversation, I hadn't even thought about the book at all that day. but, in the conversation... everything made sense, and it opened my heart and mind to new and different thoughts about myself.
I realized something, in Mark 4:3-8 the parable of the sower, there are four types of ground. a hard path, rocky ground, thorns, and good soil. I realized lately that I have the fifth type, Concrete. My heart was hard, living water was being poured upon it and it just ran off, seeds bounced. I was asking God to soften my heart, but He couldn't. It was hard, He wanted to soften it, but that's not how you remove concrete. You have to break it.
So, I've been broken. But now, I have a rocky soil, full of these broken pieces of concrete. pieces of faith are now shooting up bright and green, but withering in the heat of the day. The next step in this process is to rid the soul of the rocks. To find them, and be aware of them. And after that, the weeds will be revealed and those will have to be dug out by the roots and burned. Then, the good soil will be there.
Sounds wonderful right? It is, it's just not the one shot deal I thought it was. I always considered myself the good soil, now I'm realizing that very thought proved I was among the thorns, and the thorns lead to the hard path, and the rocks. I'm in the rocks right now, this is where I am. I can't pretend to be farther then I am, nor can I relax my work. Cause, the minute I relax and turn away from Christ, Satan digs in and sows his own seed, and I allowed him to.
